what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
