I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
