he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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