we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Damn victory sex feels great
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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