Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
