She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
