i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
