He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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