I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize