last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
