I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
