I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
