dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
