my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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