It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
