i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
