i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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