Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
