It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
