I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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