you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
