They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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