Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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