Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize