your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
