I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
