I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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