Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
