So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
