we have officially lost it.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize