Kiss
Puke
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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