what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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