I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
