He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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