Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
