Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
