thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
