Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The air taste purple.
Randomize
