the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I have post one night stand depression
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