I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize