Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Is Oprah even human
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
