Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is Oprah even human
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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