i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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