I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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