HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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