If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
