He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
