i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize