wrigley field is MILF paradise
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
