The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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