You really coming over, don't trick.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
