Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
