New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
