i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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