Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
