I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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