Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
