She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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