Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
