After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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