Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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