hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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