I don't think brook has ever known best
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
