): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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