Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
